jesuschristvevo: being hotter than me is selfish and rude
blondesquats: I’m eating chicken fingers while in the bath tub…. guys I found out what heavens like
egg-rolls: i just remembered something i did when i was 13 now my day is ruined
snitskys: hearing your favourite song while you’re doing something and stopping so you can just
involvingmeinvolvingyou: If you wanna be my lover You’ve gotta throw huge parties to get my attention and get your neighbor to invite me over for tea then let me run over my husband’s mistress in your car
Everything I’ve never done, I want to do with you.– William Chapman (via emtc)
vineyardvinesandpreppyguys: 2073: money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference tbh tho
If I was a guy for a day,
thecolorplaid: I would: Masturbate. Hug a girl to see if it’s true that they can feel their boobs. Walk around the house naked. Pee behind a building. Ask someone to kick me in the balls to see how painful some boys say it hurts. Yell at girls at the mall saying, “CAN I HOLLA FOR A DOLLA?” Stare at my penis. Get a blowjob. you seem to think that getting a blowjob is easy ...
fake-mermaid: how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
fiercezucchini: those feelings when you want a relationship but you don’t but you do but you don’t
danimansutti: really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”
revivingpeeta: tumblr ruined my life but made it better somehow
ohmypheels: everyone is like “omg tumblr should delete blogs that have been inactive for 2+ years” but i dont think they should just imagine in 10 years time, in the back of your mind you remember tumblr, you open it up and you’re still logged in and you get to look at your blog and remember all this. now imagine if you went back to see your old blog of your teenage years and it had been...
tellerknowles: does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
why are clothes so expensive like i want a jacket not another limb
yuckier: e is the worst letter to turn into bubble letters
lewuis: do you ever take a good picture of yourself and use it for everything and then look at it one day and ur like omg this is actually worst picture ever
I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too...– Ferdinand von Schrubentaufft (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
paradisaic: i would NEVER want to share a bed with someone what the hell!! i roll around and wake up like doing snow angels on my bed i am so selfish i will kick your asleep ass off the bed no regret no remorse get away
saddumbgirl: idk if you say possesive things like “you’re mine” i get all melty and weird and will probably fall in love with you
No Harvard graduate has ever solved this riddle....
adamusprime: I am ill, I am real, I might got a deal. I pop bottles and I have the right kind of build. I am cold, I am dope, I might sell coke. I’m always in the air, but I never fly coach. What am I?
sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
shikajika: ive finally found the symbol that fits my gender
amoying: warm soda is the worst thing that can happen
henryandhisbrain: Dear Yahoo, If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages. If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk. Regards Tumblr Users